"Weapons of mass ... turbation" is the line that best identifies "Piranha 3D", which is nothing more than masturbation. In addition, we say it with a positive value, because this movie is ugly, absurd, exaggerated, and with special effects sometimes bad. However, we are certain that it is a planned goal that is achieved. To make us think of all this, in addition to the paradoxical story, there is the presence of Alexandre Aja as director, there is a cameo by Eli Roth (which ends slaughtered) and those of Richard Dreyfuss and Christopher Lloyd. The first to guarantee blood and action, the other to pay tribute to "Jaws" and the last to revive a crazy scientist who finds, inter alia, after many years Elisabeth Shue.
All of them, in a movie with an almost perfect balance of blood and tits, which again justifies the term masturbation. However, this time in the physical sense.
"Piranha 3D" should obviously be the remake of Joe Dante's 1978 movie, but apart from this sense of "B Movie" and monsters, there is little in common. Presented in 3D as the trend of the time (seems to pass an eternity!), Aja's film takes with no shame all the horror stereotypes, pointing to a young audience. A huge twenty something carousel of farting, drunken and interested only in sex persons that dying in a tough way. There is an arrogant porno director (Jerry O'Connell who passed the twenty’s since many years), a muscles nerd played by Steven McQueen ("The Vampire Diaries") who then becomes the hero and of course adults. Sometimes unconscious and sometimes heroic.
In the second category, there is Elisabeth Shue the female protagonist and sheriff of the city who makes acrobatic evolution by giving great ideas that save (some) life. There is, as stated by the crazy scientist, Christopher Llloyd, who knows all about these Piranhas despite being a rather mysterious prehistoric species.
This is one of the many differences with Dante's work, whose piranhas were born out of evil
experiments. Here, however, an earthquake strikes a part of Arizona where there is a lake. The shock opens a slit from where monsters come out. Meanwhile, there is a party on the lake where bikini girls and muscle men try to have fun as much as possible. A guy on a motorboat tries to shoot a porn movie (and it did not have to be a bad movie because there are Kelly Brook, Riley Steele and Gianna Micheals), with the son of the sheriff, the nerd who becomes the hero, who serves as assistant, after having fled home and abandoning the two brothers he was dealing with. In addition, it starts the slaughter.
The fish are unbelievable but they are appreciated because they eat a penis and then spit it, but in other circumstances, like the topless girl cut into two or people eat the CGI and various effects achieve a good level of splatter, maybe thanks to the presence of Greg Nicotero. The completely crazy context mitigates as always the blood effect and is willing to assist with the slaughter of so many victims. The most colossal moment is during the party on the lake, where the animals kills many people and where a police officer in practice suicides in a very meaningless way.
However, all this trash as mentioned, works, it’s funny and has no slow moments. A nice B movie.